In case you haven’t heard, ESPN College GameDay will take place in Eugene this week, hours before Stanford and Oregon go at it on ABC in one of the most important PAC-10 conference games in years. ESPN has already released a new Oregon-based promo for the Saturday morning college football preview show.
Of course, ESPN is more or less obsessed with Oregon and the Duck. This ad, which is older than the new GameDay spot but still sees an incredible amount of airtime on the network, also features the strange little quacking mascot:
But this isn’t a post about Oregon and its television publicity. This is a post about what you, as a Stanford Cardinal fanatic, should do to make Stanford look really good on national television. Actually, nothing that follows will make Stanford look good. It’s all just trash talk. So, if you’re going to Eugene this weekend and you don’t mind camping out on Oregon’s hostile campus to get a spot behind Lee, Herbie, Desmond Howard, Chris Fowler, and Erin Andrews (yes, she’s good-looking, but extremely overrated in the aesthetic realm) and then wake up in time to flaunt your cardboard starting at 6 AM Pacific time, here are the maxims we suggest, along with other trash talking points:
- “Sucker Punch!”
- “U.O. Us Money”
- “Chip is an Old Block”
- “Masoli transferred to Mississippi… Maximum Security Penitentiary”
- “Déjà vu all over again” (a classic)
- For you Space Jam fans: Cartoon of Bugs Bunny saying, “What kind of Mickey Mouse organization would name their team the Ducks?” (also a classic)
- Any graphic that turns the Oregon “O” into a wide-open mouth. Use your imagination.
- Autzen Stadium’s video board is called DuckVision. One slight modification could make that downright pornographic.
If any of you loyal readers are going to Eugene and happen to construct a poster, be it one that we suggested here or otherwise, take a picture of you with the poster, email it to us (firstname.lastname@example.org), and we’ll be sure to publish it on DailyAxe.com